..and..ah 5...6...7...8!

When I was first told to start counting... back in the early beginner days, you know those days were you think you know it all.. ballet hard? ha! Forgetaboutit! Those super early days when "you just know you're a "natural" and really haven't figured out just what you were getting yourself into...

Ah c'mon I'm sure most of us were there at one time.. one of my classmates even admitted it out loud a few weeks ago. It's really kinda funny, the process of learning ballet. From know it all.. to knowing absolutely nothing so quickly, I'm sure it might be some of the reason why there are so many adults dropping out after a class or two. It's a shame really... I always thought the hardest part was just gathering the courage to walk into that first class...

Anyways, so yeah... I put it off... counting that is. I would let the music lead me... or my memory should hold up just fine.. and it did... back when it was easy. When there wasn't alot really going on, and following the movements of the bunhead in front of you was the simplest solution.

But now, it's just not possible.. and when I finally gave up trying to remember combinations and actually started counting each step, everything seemed to click. Why I waited so long to give in, I'll never know. But it really, really does work.

As soon as I started counting my movements in class, and listening to the music, I finally saw it.. it smacked me so hard in the face ... PATTERNS! There are patterns to the exercises! How did I never see this before?! Where have I been all these months? It's the same studio room... the same ole wooden barre, but the movements are so much clearer. 

It's the weirdest of sensations. Another of my classmates said... one day it will just "click."

Lazy Sunday on a Tuesday

I know what I should be doing.... I know I should be up and practicing yesterdays ballet class, the steps, the beats, that pirouette I didn't complete, and that combination of steps I shuffled awkwardly through.

It is my day off afterall, and I was looking forward to spending time at my barre (Mr. STB made me a very nice portable barre) and then finish up with some stretching (those splits aren't going to split themselves) But I just can't get myself out of bed... and away from this computer.

Perhaps a good inspiring quote can wake me up... or give a boost to someone else.

“The start is what stops most people.”

- Don Shula

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.”

- Jerry Rice

Hard or Soft

Ahh... pointe shoes. You love em.. you hate em... you cut, sew, scratch, glue, break in, dry out...

Hate them what??! You're probably asking yourself is that even possible?? Well, my very first pair... yep, hated them. They were way too hard, the vamp far too long, and the width insanely narrow. I tried extra padding, less padding, crushing the box, and bending them.

Although the ones in the store seemed to fit really well and were comfortable, the ones I got sent home with were a nightmare. Besides the aching pain on the tops of my toes, the bunion area burning, and the lack of proper placement on the platform, these shoes probably could have killed me!


Fast forward to my current pair. First glance they probably look way too soft, and I probably look like my toes are clawing, or I'm not pulling up and out of my shoes, but honestly I love them!

I love, love, love, love soft shoes! I don't understand it, but bloch feels incredibly soft to me. These shoes were broken/molded to my feet literally within seconds of wearing them. My right foot is stronger then my left, and I am pretty sure I broke the shank in an odd way that I had to switch it to my left foot. (much weaker) Yet I love them!

Yes they are super soft, and take a bit extra work rising to full pointe from flat, but I can feel the floor in them.. I can feel the platform and where to balance, and I can concentrate on really lengthening through my foot in these shoes.

I'm going to be so sad when they die... I'm crossing my fingers they last for at least a few months.

I don't really know if wearing a softer shoe is a bad or good thing when it comes to learning how to dance on pointe... but I know I REALLY prefer the very soft and broken in feel of shoes and despise the hard ones.

The feet of the first girl in this picture feel alot like (and I think) look similar to mine. Where the toes almost seem to bend and the the rest of the foot "sits" in the shoe. Maybe it's just the shoe.....

It all adds up

Well another ballet class under my belt. I left my class feeling renewed, with a bounce in my step, a huge smile on my face, and with more energy then when I went in. I jogged briskly to the car and plopped into the seat with a sigh. I felt very happy and content as I thought back on all the steps we went through in class., all the challenges, the "felt like you could die jumps" the "leg muscles slowly turning ever so mushy during adage," and that amazingly rewarding feeling of almost nailing an exercise.

I actually had some control in my pirouettes prep today, which felt awesome! I've been trying to work on them outside of class. This week I only managed to practice them for about 20mins on Tues, last week I spent 4x 20mins, and I could feel myself getting slightly closer to gaining that strength, and  the power to ."...propel... UP...and.. HOLD..HOLD...now come down with control not because you HAVE to.. but because you WANT to!" I actually was able to hold today my releve, with foot in passe alot longer then I thought and my grin must have been as wide as the room in that moment. hehee :)

If only I could take classes every day, I think I would be on cloud 9.

Alright enough of all that! Now down to business!

Notes:
push more toe-ball-heel
use those stomach muscles (they are in there somewhere)
more hamstrings! pull up, up up!
Lower arms during back bends...
Try to remember port de bra.. (I really don't understand why I always forget these)
and of course... count, count count count.... 


Oooo long list. :)

Side note.. some of the girls in my class today were wearing the most amazing warmups. I wish I could wear them too, but I have the worst luck finding any in my size. Yet, now I am wondering what in my closet don't I wear anymore... hmm maybe it's time to get creative??? hmmm......

YAY PICTURE TIME!

Wow, I'm back, how do I work this again?!

It's been almost a year since my last post. I really don't have anything to say for myself. Starting a blog takes alot of time and I can appreciate the amount of hard work that goes into it. I'm hoping to really dedicate at least 10mins a day to this blog...that is if I can remember my way around this place.


Well, it's been over a year and I am still happily pursuing my ballet obsession. Hard to believe when I look back that I've already gone through over a year of classes, actually pushed through each term, as well as, sweat buckets through barrework on some of the hottest days of summer. It was worth it though, ery drop of sweat, every foot cramp, and all those aching muscles.

I've picked up another pointe class this year which is very exciting. The other day I noticed a small bruise on the side of my foot after pointe class, Mr. STB rolled his eyes and sighed as I proudly pointed out my battle wound.

Pointe work is always incredibly hard. I just can't seem to get the strength needed (or the courage) of hoping from plie on one leg directly up and onto both fully stretched pointed feet. Aaagh, this is the toughest part so far in my pointework!

Barrework is getting a little easier... Ha! Did I really just type that?! I am the worst when it comes to barrework! I just can't seem to figure out how to use my arms separate from what my legs are doing and it really shows. My leg extensions, cambre back needs work, and my flexibility is miles away. This is actually much of the reason I decided to get back to this blog, a place to focus on my weaknesses, plan of attack and view my progress.

I am determined to gain more, retain more, and improve more then I have last year.. fingers crossed :/

Alright, so here goes:
This week my goals are:
-Stretch at least 3x / week  (I will have to find some good stretches/stretch routine somewhere)
-practice what I find mostly challenging at home (balancing in releve with foot in passe & hold)
 Why are pirouettes so much harder from 5th then any other position anyways!! T.T
 -core work at least 3x week


Today isn't exactly the start of the week, but, I'm going to treat it that way anyways :P

It's a Soul-Full Thing..

I think I must have smiled throughout my entire ballet class. I was on cloud nine, just happy to be there. Sure I flopped around, made numerous mistakes, lost my counts, forgot combinations...but I couldn't stop smiling.

Not too long after class ended, I was telling my boyfriend about how much fun I had, and how much joy  can be found in ballet. I felt like I had been injected with rainbows, and floating gently over cotton candy clouds dusted softly in ballet pink. I  can feel myself improving, am becoming more aware of my weaknesses, eager to try again, and beyond excited to improve.

And that's when it hit me... Perhaps I had finally found that "something," maybe even that "one and only" thing that truly nourishes me all the way to my soul.

When Time flies...

It has been ages since my lost post, and alot of things have happened.

I am still taking my 2 classes per week, + a 30 min pre pointe class, and I am in the process of pointe shopping.
There are just so many different kinds... Block, Capezio, Grishko, Gaynor Minden...aaaaagh! The list is endless.

I think I am lucky that although I have been doing ballet for a few months, I like to believe that my feet/ankles are relatively strong. I have for maybe most of my life been accustomed to walking demi pointe... No.. I do not have any kind of mental/neromuscular disease. Its been more of a preference, while wearing socks or bare feet, I usually tend to tip-toe (demi pointe walk) across my hard wood floor/when climbing stairs/running outside to grab the mail... and I like to convince myself that this strange habit has in some way benefited myself in regards to the strength and control necessary for pointe work.

Now, I am not tooting my horn, farm from it.. I recognize my ankles needs more flexibility, my core strength needs to improve, engaging the quads constantly are among my weakness or need to improve lists.


Well, anyways I have tried on some various pointe shoes, I have felt what "supported" feels like and it is actually very nice, not too uncomfortable.. however it was only in ONE foot, sigh. I do have one good foot (toes are the same size,square and all that) and then one bad foot, and the good foot became the problem, it would not feel comfortable or supported at all. The toes seemed to suffer the most. So I am still looking.

Thankfully I have time. It will be a couple months still before I am actually on pointe, I can hardly contain my excitement. Of course the pointe work will be of the most basic, probably less then 15mins at a time, and mostly just roll ups while facing the barre. Not that I am complaining of course, :)