It's a Soul-Full Thing..

I think I must have smiled throughout my entire ballet class. I was on cloud nine, just happy to be there. Sure I flopped around, made numerous mistakes, lost my counts, forgot combinations...but I couldn't stop smiling.

Not too long after class ended, I was telling my boyfriend about how much fun I had, and how much joy  can be found in ballet. I felt like I had been injected with rainbows, and floating gently over cotton candy clouds dusted softly in ballet pink. I  can feel myself improving, am becoming more aware of my weaknesses, eager to try again, and beyond excited to improve.

And that's when it hit me... Perhaps I had finally found that "something," maybe even that "one and only" thing that truly nourishes me all the way to my soul.

When Time flies...

It has been ages since my lost post, and alot of things have happened.

I am still taking my 2 classes per week, + a 30 min pre pointe class, and I am in the process of pointe shopping.
There are just so many different kinds... Block, Capezio, Grishko, Gaynor Minden...aaaaagh! The list is endless.

I think I am lucky that although I have been doing ballet for a few months, I like to believe that my feet/ankles are relatively strong. I have for maybe most of my life been accustomed to walking demi pointe... No.. I do not have any kind of mental/neromuscular disease. Its been more of a preference, while wearing socks or bare feet, I usually tend to tip-toe (demi pointe walk) across my hard wood floor/when climbing stairs/running outside to grab the mail... and I like to convince myself that this strange habit has in some way benefited myself in regards to the strength and control necessary for pointe work.

Now, I am not tooting my horn, farm from it.. I recognize my ankles needs more flexibility, my core strength needs to improve, engaging the quads constantly are among my weakness or need to improve lists.


Well, anyways I have tried on some various pointe shoes, I have felt what "supported" feels like and it is actually very nice, not too uncomfortable.. however it was only in ONE foot, sigh. I do have one good foot (toes are the same size,square and all that) and then one bad foot, and the good foot became the problem, it would not feel comfortable or supported at all. The toes seemed to suffer the most. So I am still looking.

Thankfully I have time. It will be a couple months still before I am actually on pointe, I can hardly contain my excitement. Of course the pointe work will be of the most basic, probably less then 15mins at a time, and mostly just roll ups while facing the barre. Not that I am complaining of course, :)

What's the Pointe?

Just when things are amazing.. its get even better!
It's like when you fall down, you fall hard, and when you rise up, its WAAAAY up.

Well not only is 2 classes a week enough to send me off into happy-ballet-zombie land where a permanent smile and a constant releve here, or tendu there every min or so leaves me looking strange....


but now my teacher has mentioned that I..  (thanks to some awesome girls in my class putting on their brave faces and requesting it) and them will OMG... I can hardly write it out, without nearly jumping up and down in joy.... will be...... GOING ON POINTE IN THE NEW YEAR!!!!!

OH MY FREAKING GAWD!

I am beyond excited, my poor boyfriend has to listen to me go on and on about it. lol but I cant wait!
This was / is my biggest goal ever, and to think that I might be soooo lucky to accomplish something so amazing in only 5-6 months since starting ballet... for the VERY FIRST TIME?!!! Oh, did I mention I have never, ever, ever dance anything at all in my entire life? Nope.. no slow prom dance for me... no kick back have fun in teen dances.... I was always glued to the nearest chair, My group of friends and I were "too cool" to dance...and "dancing if for losers" attitude. Whaaat?? Really... crazy teenagers!

oh but wait there's more...other then my absolute drunking dance sprees (thanks to my wonderful friends tossing the drinks down my throat for me) I have managed to make a fool of myself a couple times while attempting to "move to the music" too drunk to hear any tune in the music i was listening, and too drunk to care.....

So yeah, my poor teachers struggle with me to hear/use the music completely...

Hey,.. how did I get off topic here.. lol.... so yeah POINTE!!! ZOMG!

I think I can.. I think I can....

Well it just so happend that for some reason I decided that I was determined to take another ballet class. One class a week was just not cutting it for me, technique wise and obsession wise.. I was just NOT getting my fix!

So very nice class mate of mine suggested I look into another class... but, it was a harder and higher level. Well thats about all it took, before I knew it I was emailing the studio owner and asking/forcing myself into this higher level class.
She said sure I could try, and I replied immediately taking up her offer.

Well the days before my class I was a nervous wreck, what was I thinking?! I was going to be way over my head, and people would be annoyed that I was slowing them down.. ugh! how could I set myself up for such absolute failure?! Right?!


I almost talked myself out of it.. but I managed to go anyways.. where the courage came from... no idea.

I went..... and I LOVED IT! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVED IT!

I cant believe how afraid I was. Valuable life lesson learned....
So now I am taking 2 classes per week and I am super excited! yay!

Want to go again!

Another amazing ballet class has gone by.. and sigh I am missing it already.
You know you've had a great class when you wish you could do it all over again...and everyday!

If only I could win the lottery and take classes all day long!

This ballet lover will sleep soundly dreaming of plies with a big permanent grin.

Leotards are so pretty.....

Shortly after starting my ballet lessons, I purchased 2 ballet leotards online. I stuck with the most basic leotard I could find, with what I hoped would disguise my tummy pouch.

One was called black tank style leotard with princess seams..I mean it works... kinda.

Why is it that that extra cheese sandwich, or 1 extra drink with dinner, always no matter what seems to show up right before dance class, right in the tummy pouch a little extra bloated then usual. Well... as much I wish the princess seams could have helped... it was all down to me and the failed attempt to tighten it up with some extra effort.

Then there was the OTHER black leotard...again promising to camouflage a larger...bulging tummy..... and failing miserably. "Ribbed at the midsection to flatter and fit-enhance" HA!

Sure... enhance and flatter a tummy already flat.

Ah well... as much the pink tights and unflattering leotards are.. they do encourage a healthier lifestyle.... (Must.... shrink.. size... of...belly...bloat...)
And now.. some 7-8lbs lighter (8 on a good day :p) I now have the leotard shopping bug and trying hard not to flip out my debit card at every pretty lil thing I come across.

I really like this one though..... ahh temptations...

Now that the first post is over.....

Alright, now that the very first and awkward blog is out of the way.

I have been taking ballet lessons for approx 3 months. I absolutely love ballet.
My passion for ballet seemed to appear almost from nowhere one day, I always appreciated the idea of ballet, and admired the strength and flexibility of all those incredible dancer's but as I aged it was a world beyond my grasp.
Out of nowhere the realization that dance is available to people of ALL ages, opened my eyes and mind to the possibility that I (a very out of shape women close to her 30's) could possibly take lessons. Well, after another 1-2 years of fighting with insecurities, money problems, and feelings of selfishness (why are women conditioned to give all to others and save nothing for themselves?) I finally reached a point in my life, where if I was going to do SOMETHING, now is the time, because I had ENOUGH of regret.

Two weeks or so later, I enrolled in my very first ballet lesson, and I've been hooked ever since. Ballet is life changing. It gives you something to strive for, an excuse to work hard, and push your body farther then you might normally would, and the reward is beyond explanation.

A Blog, really?

A Blog...really?

I know right? I', kinda asking myself that... why a blog? Why now? Seriously, doesn anyone really... REALLY... read blogs anymore? It's all about texting and tweeting, how out of the loop is blogging these days anyways.

Well.... now after more then three months of obsession with ballet, I've discovered how incredible blogging really is. When you are as obsessed with ballet as I have discovered myself to be...It's incredibly useful to resort to blogs after you've already devoured everything else possible from numerous ballet related searches.

In the beginning...
Boyfriend Says 'with a backward glance in my direction' : Whatcha reading?
Me: Ballet stuff...
Boyfriend replies: ahhh

fast forward a month later...
Boyfriend lazily questions while pausing from his game :Whatcha doing? (aka whatcha reading, anything interesting? ie: you've been so quiet....)
Me: Really? you have to ask?
Boyfriend: More ballet?!!!

Fast forward 2 months later...

Boyfriend sighs at me at I stare transfixed at my laptop screen...."...ballet...."
Me:... mmhmm.....

If ballet was a drug, I am addict. The fascinating part is no matter how much I seem to read.. or re-read about ballet (technique especially) I can never get enough, and every once in awhile things I re-read suddenly make sense.

The Ballet obsessed, we are a strange and loyal breed.